


Gotta Have Some Faith

by whichstiel



Series: Season 12 Codas [23]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: All Along the Watchtower - Freeform, Episode Related, Episode Tag, Episode: s12e23 All Along the Watchtower, First Kiss, M/M, Resurrection, episode coda, spn 12x23, this is not the end - it is the beginning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-19
Updated: 2017-05-19
Packaged: 2018-11-02 12:04:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10944135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whichstiel/pseuds/whichstiel
Summary: I won't let you downSo please don't give me up'Cause I would really, really love to stick around





	Gotta Have Some Faith

****_I won't let you down_  
_So please don't give me up_  
_'Cause I would really, really love to stick around_

**10:06 pm**

There's a feather-charred pebble digging into Dean's palm and a howling storm fighting its way out of his ribs. “Cas,” he gasps. Oh god, his chest is so tight he can barely breathe. Why can't he breathe? Dean lifts up his hand and stares at the red mark on his palm. When did he fall to the ground? How long has it been since Castiel... Since Castiel...

The angry indentation the rock made on his skin is a reminder: he's still alive. He can fix this. Dean stares up at the cold mountain sky.

**10:35 pm**

“--I swear to FUCKING... _you_. Chuck. Get your sorry, lazy fucking ass down here right now and--”

Maybe if Dean shouts his prayers, that fucking loser of a god will show his fucking face and do his job. Dean shouts until his voice breaks. He shouts until his lungs burn.

**11:03 pm**

He's got to go inside. He's got to. Sam's in there with Lucifer's child. He's in that house, alone, with Lucifer's child and Sam's all he has left.

Sam's all he has left.

The sob breaks out of Dean harshly, so sudden he doesn't realize it's him at first. His face is hot, his cheeks are wet, and something large and ugly is crawling out of his chest through his throat. He curls his fingers into Castiel's shirt so tight his skin turns white. Dean clings to Castiel and every wracking sob pulls him down, down, down.

Dean rocks over the body.

**11:17 pm**

Dean jerks up to a sitting position when the front door slams open. He stares at the house and watches as a young, naked man he's never seen before trips his way down the steps. His eyes are wide golden coals burning against the night.

“What the--?” Dean has the presence of mind to say before the nephilim child fixes its gaze on him and giggles once, high pitched like a crazed flute. The man-child stares at Dean.

“Son of a bitch,” Dean and the nephilim say in unison.

The nephilim takes one step towards Dean, and then another. He traces his finger through the air from nose to navel, opening a golden gash in the air. With another half wild giggle it steps through and the slit in the world seals once again.

Sam stumbles out the door. “Did you see him? Where'd he go?”

Dean just looks at him. His face is muddy and tear streaked and suddenly he just doesn't care. The world slips into shades of gray and the crisp mountain air tastes flat on his tongue. “We gotta build a pyre,” Dean says.

**2:43 am**

Sam has disappeared into the woods, having mumbled that they need more kindling.

 _More kindling, my ass._ Sam looks at him like he wants to say something to comfort him and make this okay. It will never be okay.

The tears keep coming. If Dean holds his jaw any more rigid it will splinter apart.

Dean stacks wood around the pyre, built as flat and high as he can considering how few woodsman tools they have. Considering how broken he is. Castiel's eyes stare at the stars. Sam wanted to close them but Dean had knocked his arm away.

Castiel's eyes stare at the stars.

**2:57 am**

Dean rests his forehead on Castiel's folded arm, one hand wound into Castiel's, their fingers tangled. Dean holds on tightly. “Cas,” he breathes into Castiel's coat, shirt, arm, body, essence. “Cas cas cas cas...”

Castiel's fingers twitch.

Dean doesn't notice the movement at first but his head shoots up when Castiel's chest heaves up in one long, painful indrawn breath. “Cas?” Dean asks, disbelievingly. Golden light swirls over Castiel's lips like mist over a pond and then it dissipates.

Castiel sits up with a low groan.

“Cas,” Dean barely manages to whisper. His lips tingle and sparks float on his vision. He sways forward just a fraction and Castiel immediately reaches out to steady him.

“Dean,” Castiel says and his voice is so tired and bewildered and beloved it physically hurts. “What happened? Where is Lucifer? How is Kelly doing?” He looks all around them, towards the empty space by the tree where the golden portal shone, then up to the glowing lights of the house, then down to the pyre half built around him, and finally to Dean.

“Dean,” Castiel says again, but this time it's just shocked. Gentle. He reaches out a tentative hand and when Dean doesn't move away, Castiel rubs a finger against his cheek, swiping a path through the tear tracks. “Dean.” Castiel stares at his wet fingertips.

Dean kisses him.

**3:40 am**

“So you're telling us you got some kind of...nephilim power boost? The nephilim brought you back?” Sam wrinkles his nose, trying out the concept.

“Something like that. Yes. I, er, think so, anyway. We seem to have some kind of connection and that connection – his power – knitted me back together. His power will be - _is_ enough to reshape the universe. It's certainly enough to reassemble my grace.” Castiel looks down at the floor. “I'm truly sorry for worrying you both.” Sam shrugs off his apology.

Dean sits on the floor, half numb, and ignores the beer Sam placed at his feet. Castiel smiles gently at them both but he won't meet Dean's eye. Not since the kiss. Dean stares at Castiel, though, and pushes his feelings around like a loose tooth in his mouth. Finally, he takes a sharp, gasping breath like he just remembered how to breathe and says, “I meant it, Cas. I mean it.”

Sam, who had missed the kiss but managed to come in later for the awkward staring, looks between them. His mouth snaps shut and he clears his throat. “I'll just, uh... Yeah.” Sam shuffles from the room, not even bothering with an explanation for his departure.

Castiel tries to stare Dean down cooly, one brow raised. He tries but oh, he fails miserably at it. His mouth quivers at the corners like he can't decide whether to smile or break into tears himself. “You did?” he asks flatly.

“I love you, Cas,” Dean says. As the words finally leave his mouth it feels like a goddamn rainbow has lit up the room. Like everything in the world is possible. “I love absolutely everything about you. You're the only person that makes my life worthwhile and it took los--.” His voice breaks and he clears his throat. “Please. Please don't ever leave me again.” Then, greatly daring, he pushes himself to his knees. Castiel doesn't move an inch so Dean traverses the couple of feet across the small house's floor like he's crossing an undiscovered continent. Dean moves until he's nose to nose with Castiel, lips just inches away. “Please,” he whispers.

Castiel sighs, closes his eyes, and leans in the rest of the way.

**2 days later**

Dean shifts to his side and pillows his head on his arm. He slides one foot along Castiel's bare shin and insinuates his leg between Castiel's knees. Dean presses in and sighs when they're close enough for him to sling his other arm over Castiel's waist. "So the nephilim - Jack, I mean - showed you a vision and that's why you..." Dean lifts his hand to press two fingers to Castiel's forehead.

Castiel nods. His lashes sweep up and down slowly, gently, and his breath tickles the bridge of Dean's nose.

"What'd you see?"

Castiel just breathes quietly for a minute then he says, "I told Kelly I saw a vision of a perfect future. Paradise. She was suffering. Dying. It brought her peace. But I-- What I saw was much more personal." He presses his lips gently to Dean's forehead and they press even closer. 

"Let me guess. A little less sunshine and rainbows. A little more gritty reality?"

"I saw you," Castiel says simply. "You, with graying hair sitting on an old plaid couch in a sunlit room. The window was open and the smell of fresh cut hay and the promise of rain filled the room. You were sitting with me just holding my hand." Castiel fumbles for Dean's hand at his waist and winds their fingers together. "You were just holding my hand. And you - _we_ \- were happy. That's all. And suddenly it didn't matter if the world would change or not change. It didn't matter that Jack had the power to drag the stars from the sky. It was the future, I had you and...and we were happy. We had each other."

"That's all you saw?" Dean whispers. 

"Yes." Castiel closes his eyes and sighs. "It doesn't seem like enough, does it?"

Dean tugs both their hands up and kisses Castiel's knuckles softly, one by one. "No, man. It's enough. It's enough."

_Faith. Faith. Faith.  
Oh yeah_

**Author's Note:**

> I'm gonna write a Rowena coda sometime this weekend. Stay tuned <3
> 
> And take care of yourselves out there! Keep the faith with me. #CastielLives
> 
> Thanks for reading! I'm on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/whichstiel) and [Tumblr](http://whichstiel.tumblr.com/) @ whichstiel. You may also like the Supernatural recap and gif blog I co-write/curate, [Shirtless Sammy](https://shirtlesssammy.tumblr.com/).


End file.
